SO YOU GET WHAT YOU WISH a play by Gouri Nilakantan
SO YOU GET WHAT YOU WISH
A Children’s Play by Gouri Nilakantan
(For performing this play, read the corollary at the bottom)
Characters
Zooli/Mr Anthony Lobo
Freeman/rahul
Wise guy/ Rohit
Fullon-rockon/ Puskar
(Anthony lobo enters the stage. He has a strange hairdo and is wearing a long red overcoat)
Lobo/Zooli: good evening and greetings my dear little friends and all their grownups. I know introductions are entirely unnessacry sometimes and the play should speak for itself but I need to explain why I am here. NO you don’t want to hear…ok then let me tell you all a secret…I make…I make…I make wishes come true…yes yes….just like the fairy god mother of Cinderella or a fairy queen but only I am a man in this case….no not man…actually let me let you know my real name my name is ZOOOOOOOOOOOOLI…Zooli…from the nether nether world…the world that only I know…hey I can hear someone…its time for my disappearance but don’t worry friends only to appear once again…
(A house setting. Three children on the stage, one child is playing on his train set and the other two enter)
Freeman: There he is (pointing to fullonrockon) hey pushkar
(Pushkar does not respond)
Fr: hey puskar… (Waits a second and then goes to him and gives him a loud push, pushkar falls on the floor)
Fullon: what did you do that for my dear dear rahul?
Freee: because my dear dear dear Pushkar…what is your name? Pushkar…yani push…karo…pushkar
(Wise guy also comes near and is eating a lollipop and starts laughing)
Wiseguy: hey that’s funny…push…kar…push kar
Puskar: stop it guys…you all know I hate my name…why don’t you call me what I am supposed to be called …that’s FULLONROCKON…I rock guys I rock
Wise guy: yes yes you do rock, you are as heavy as a rock anyway hahaha
Puskar: yes that’s why we call you wise guy…you wise guy…
Wise guy: I am a wise guy…the wisest guy in this gang
Freeman: but listen I am the boss of this gang…I am the eldest
Pushkar: says who
Freeman: says me…that’s who
Wise-guy: Rahul (freeman looks at him sternly)…sorry Freeman…
Freeman: guys don’t forget the rules…in this club we have to only call each other by our code names got it…wise guy?
Wise guy: yes yes got it freeman
Freeman: what about you? Got it Fullonrockon? Yes …or no
Fullon: yes yes got it. So whats our plan for today?
Freeman: well this week I think we have to draw out our plan for our club activities.
Wiseman: what about collecting insects this week?
Freeman: no we have done that last month, remember Chaluram our ant…how he died?
Fullon: poor little chap; he was suffocated, what an idea to keep him in an insect jar which had been an achaar jar poor fellow died of smelling all aam ka acchar.
Wiseman: now what do we do?
Freeman: what about getting all the dogs together and giving them a pet party?
Wiseman: my mother would never agree she absolutely refuses to part with her biscuits.
Fulon (looking very disappointed): now what do we do?
Wiseman: hey have you heard about that new neighbour of ours…he lives opposite my house.
Freeman: you mean that fat guy who keeps shouting at the drivers, yahan betne ki jagah nahi hain…bhaago
Wiseman: arre nahi that fat guy is in hospital…I heard that he had kicked a dog and the dog bit him
Fullon: arre nahi yaar, he ate too many old pizzas and the whole night he went (holds his nose) purr purr purr
Wiseman: how do you know?
Fullon: my didi told me …puskar beta…pizza mat kha…pata hain bechaar arora uncle hospital main hain kyuki kitna pizza khaya ki per hi kharaab ho gaya…bechare arora uncle…ha ha ha
Wiseman: arre nahi not arora uncle this is one strange guy, Mr Anthony Lobo…really strange…keeps all his doors and windows locked and curtained even during the day and only sets out at night after seven when it is all dark
Fullon: really
Wiseman: and children say that he wears a dark red clock in the night…
Fullon: baap re…dar lag raha hain
Wiseman: yes…and I also heard that he drinks the blood of cockroaches and hearts of frogs for dinner…. (Makes an eerie sound)
Freeman: ok then decided…its Anthony lobo then. This week we have to enter his house and enter his bedroom
Fullon: baap re…enter his bedroom now that’s tough
Freeman: allright allright just make sure that we can enter his house and search for his red cloak
Wiseman: you mean the magical one
Freeman: that is our mission…everybody with me…Wiseguy?
Wiseguy: yes sire!!!
Freeman: fullon rockon?
Fullon: well I am not sure…this week I have a history test
Wiseguy: liar! History test in class one? History starts in class V allright…you better come rockon…see you are the youngest and the cutest mr lobo will never suspect you…never
Freeman: that’s right since you are the youngest you can make an easy entry and then we all can barge in…And while I keep talking to Mr lobo, you freeman try and get his coat
Fullon: and then…???
Freeman: we will decide that later…first we must enter Mr Lobo’s house
Wiseguy: ok operation LOBO …thumbs up
All three: THUMBS UP
(Freeze music is heard end of scene one)
(Music is heard enter Anthony lobo and goes to the dresser and pulls out a red cloak and removes his waist coat and mutters to himself)
Lobo: very good very good…I look fine….Zooli from zooli land…hahahah (hears a knock on the door) now who is hear let me check…first let me hide this cloak…no one should see it (looks through the window) three children…hmmm…interesting….three fine specimens for my next experiment…maybe I should call them in (door bell rings again)…wait a second….just coming (wears his coat and opens the door) yes…
Wiseguy: uncle uncle…we are children…
Lobo (sternly): yes of course I can see you are children…now what do you want
Rockon: uncle…I mean sir…sir…
Lobo: what sir…sir
Freeman: uncle we are selling raffle tickets….for our school party!
Lobo: school party
Freeman: yes sir…no sir…I mean school carnival
Lobo: so…???
Wiseman: so let us into your house
Lobo: into my what?
Freeman; sir ignore him…he is saying can you please please please buy our tickets
Lobo: ok
Freeman: sir sir…rockonfullon…i mean fullonrockon…I mean puskar is thirsty
Rockon: hey I am not thirsty
Freeman: of course you are (winking at him)….are you not
Rockon: yes sir…I am dying of thirst…water water….
Wiseguy: sir I think he will collapse if you don’t give him water
Freeman: sir he is fainting (holds him while he sways) can we take him inside your house sir
Lobo: ok ok…but make sure he is our as soon as he becomes better
Wiseguy: sir ham aaye aur gaye…I mean no problem sir
Rockon: paani paani paani chakkar aa gaya…paani
Lobo: ok ok before you faint at my doorstep come in…(Takes them inside)…you guys sit here…( turns to leave but comes back at once) and don’t touch anything especially that cupboard…just no touching
(He leaves and rockon grins)
Rockon: hey guys how was I…super cool right
Wiseguy: tu cool nahi fool hain…why were you overacting like that paani paani…I am fainting
Rockon: listen just because I was looking so cure he let you all inside
Wiseguy: OK cutie pie
Freeman: hey you two stop fighting…quick let’s try and find his cloak…you go there you search in that cupboard and let me see under the table
Wise guy: (finding the cloak) hey guys…I found it….here it is
Rockon: gosh it’s big
Freeman: hey don’t touch it…just let it be…it could be magical…
( Zooli enters and says in loud commanding tome)
Zooli: stop freeze all of you (the children look scared and see Zooli)…stop at once…come here (the children all come close to him)…did anyone of you touch the cloak
Rockon: sir…I…I
Zooli: you did! (he is pleased)…good good good
Freeman: good sir!
Zooli: yes good because you have broken the spell!!!
Freeman: spell what spell
Zooli: I think I better explain…I am actually a fairy god father…
Rockon: fairy god father…hahahah funny
Zooli: why can’t guys be fairies?
Wiseguy: ok ok so you are a wizard
Zooli: well technically you can say that but I am a good wizard…
Wiseguy: so you are not Anthony Lobo
Zooli: Actually I was doomed to become a man by a wicked witch. I accidently stumbled upon a secret that she was working on…a magic potion so she cast a spell on me and turned me into a man.
Wiseguy: being a man is not such a bad thing
Zooli: try being a wizard…I mean fairy god father and then you will understand the benefits of being a wizard. Anyway let’s cut the conversation short as I was saying
Freeman: we have broken your spell
Zooli: yes now that you have found my cloak and broken my spell I am only zoooli ZOOOOLI no Mr Lobo shobo…how I hated that…so I need to give you something in return for this….SO YOU GET WHAT YOU WISH
Freeman: get what we wish
Zooli: yes your wish is my command tell me what you want and I will get you that, tell me where you want to be and you can go there, tell me what you want to become and you can become that
Rockon: wow three wishes
Zooli: sorry only one
Rockon: but fairy god mothers give three wishes to people and we found your cloak, broke your spell …that’s not fair
Zooli: no just one wish…so what do you guys want
Wiseguy: I would rather I became someone…I always wanted to be something like my life
Zooli: your wish is my command
Wiseguy: I wanted to become a star all my life
Zooli: a pop star, a rock star, a bollywood star…amir khan, salman khan, sharukh khan
Wiseguy: no a star…a star in the sky….a star that looks upon the planets something like interstellar
Lobo: are you sure that you want to become that?
Wiseguy: oh absolutely, infact that swat I want most of all
Lobo: ok then
Rockon: ok take out your magic wand then
Lobo: no need for the wand let me just read your charm
FEEEE FIIII FOOO FUMMM
LET THIS KID HAVE ALL THE FUN
MAKE HIM INTO THAT BRIGHT NEW STAR
TWINKLING, SHINING NEAR AND FAR
ZIPPPPP ZAPPPPP ZOOMMMM
Wiseguy: hey I haven’t changed
Lobo: it will start working once your back home, don’t worry. (Turning towards freeman) Ok now rahul….sorry free man what’s your scene?
Freeman: I don’t want t become some silly star….I just love candy….why don’t you make me a taster in a candy factory. My mother will never scold me for eating so many lollipops then…yummy I can see such good times coming ahead…candy for day and candy for night…please that’s what I want. Yes a candy taster…nothing more nothing less
Lobo: are you sure
Freeman: you promised
Lobo: yes yes so you get what you wish
FIDDLE DEE FIDDLE DOO FIDDLE DEE DEE
MAKE HIM THE CANDY TASTER FOR ALL TO SEE
LET HIM EAT CANDIES ALL DAY LONG
CANDIES FOR LUNCH< TEA AND DINNER WITH WINE AND SONG
Freeman: wow, thanks Zooli…you are amazing, marvellous and stupendous….A zillion, million thanks
(Zooli turns towards the last child, fullonrockon)
Zooli: so you are now the last and your wish is also my command, what do you want to become
ROckon: well actually I can’t tell you that since it’s a big secret
Wiseguy: hey how can he make you into anything if you don’t tell it?
Rockon: no people will alugh at me but I am really seious bout it I want to become that and nothing else
Lobo: go on speak your mind; no one will dare laugh at you while I am here
Rock on: well ok then…I want to become a rock
Wiseguy: a rock…hahahahah….
Rockon: see I told you that they would laugh did I not…now I am not talking to anybody…I don’t to become anything
Wiseguy: hey sorry yaar…really sorry batana
Rockon: I want to become a rock because I have a reason…actually I really hate my name…people keep on making fun of it. So if l become a rock no one will be able to push me anymore. Infact if they tried I could just roll over and crush their legs….hahahah
Lobo: that seems only like a fair deal…I think it’s high time you became a rock….that’s right…
FILLIN FILL OUT FIIIII FIIII
MAKE HIM THIS HUGE BIG ROCK HEHEHE
SEE HIM CHRUSH ALL TO BITS
WILL MAKE YOU GO OUT OF YOUR WITS
So guys…happy now
All three: absolutely, you are the best…this is great
Lobo: remember one thing fellows; we will all meet in a week time. This spell needs weekly rejuvenation its needs its weekly dose. So do meet me next week, bye and best of luck
(Music is heard, and enters lobo)
Lobo: A so dear friend one week is over and it’s time for my liitle buddies to start arriving. Hope everything will go according to my plan…fine little specimens I found and they all walked straight into my plan…good good wait I can see them
(Enter the three kids looking very very sad and downcast)
Lobo: hey kids how are you…
Three: (in a very small voice) hi Mr. Zooli
Lobo: so how has it been going for you all fine?
Freeman: hmmm ok I guess
Wiseguy: yes just fine
Rockon: (looks very upset)…hmmm fine…oh what do I say…and starts crying…not fine not fine…I can’t stand this torture anymore
Lobo: why guys…look sit down relax and tell him what happened
Freeman: sir…sir
Wiseguy: sir we are not happy just not happy…infact we are not only sad but miserable
Rockon: please sir…I have my old self back…I don’t like this get up…I hate this
Lobo: ok guys just relax first and then tell, you start freeman
Freeman: I was so happy being that candy taster at first…nestle, cadbury, lollipops, sweets, hajmola candy…life was perfect…but I had to eat only that for one whole week..(pulls out his tongue)…see this my poor taste buds…I hate the idea of anything sweet…I want to eat simple dal roti chawal and aloo ki sabji…mummy ke haath ka khana…never an chocolate again in my entire life…the idea of even a small piece of candy makes me want to… yuck
Rockon: sir sir…I hate being a rock, at first I was so happy that I could just sit and laze around, relax and chill in the sun…imagine no school, no homework just lie down and feel happy and I was so happy no one could dare push me. But all that sitting down has made me so sad, I want to walk normally, play and run
Lobo: and what about you wise guy
Wiseguy: I well…I wud hate to tell a lie but being star is actually no fun. I thought I was sooper cool guy in this whole galaxy…but I was in this huge space so far away from my home. I could only be seen in the night and i was far away from my friends, my mom dad everybody…and it was cold …my gosh so cold in the galaxy and I could not even wrap myself in something warm because I was too big. I want my old self back…please please
Rockon yes sir please sir
All three: pleaseeeee pleaseeeee
Lobo: ok ok…but this spell is permanent
Wiseguy: no you can’t say that, you are a good fairy father not a wicked one, we will do anything
All thre: yes sir anything…
Lobo : anything
All Three: yes sir we swear
Lobo: well will you be good children, not fight with each other, help each other and be the best neighbours?
Three: yes sir
Lobo: will you be kind to mr.Arora and not barge in people’s houses just to harass them and
Three: yes sirs never never never disturb the old and the sick?
Lobo: will you help your parents in the house and do your homework without winging and whining
Rockon: do homework…sir
Wiseguy: ignore him sir…sir I will dp jhaadu, poncha baratan, cook the food and do my homework…i promise
Lobo: do you promise to be generous and kind and share everything with other children…even your best toys
Rockon: my best toy
Wiseguy: ignore him sir
Freeman: yes sir, yes sir
Lobo: allright then…your spell will wear out as soon as you leave my house. Let me tell you a secret I came from the nether world looking for the best specimen for this experiment and now I can return back to nether world.
Freeman: experiment
Lobo: yes experiment, I wanted to teach children never to wish for something that they don’t know about. Because YOU GET WHAT YOU WISH so one should only wish for the best and nothing but the best. Now that my job is done, I can return back happily to netherland. Ok guys one last thing now what do you all want to become when you grow up
All three: A FAIRY GOD FATHER LIKE YOU OFCOURSE MR ZOOLI
(Zooli laughs and the others join him and music is heard)
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